Game of Thrones – Dance of Dragons

“Too old….too old…too old.”

I rolled my eyes the first time Ser Meryn Trant uttered what was to be his episode catchphrase. Here we go, says I, another moron who, given his pick of women, plumbs for the svelte teen. So far so cliche. It was only on the repetition of the line did I crack a smile. As if we needed another reason to dislike this particular Kingsguard, the man who publicly beat Sansa on Joffrey’s orders, who (possibly) killed Syrio Forel and who has been a general douchebag for five seasons. Now we find out he’s a fuckin’ nonce. All the more reason for Arya to dig out Needle from beneath that dockside cairn and put it through what Daario Naharis calls ‘the place where men have no muscle’.

Since we’re on the subject of douchebags. Stannis. I don’t think I’ve been alone in warming to this guy over the last season and a half. A hardass he maybe but he’s got a good heart, he’s forthright and is quite rare in that he sees the bigger picture. Until he did something unforgivable tonight. We’ve been building toward this for a few weeks but I still didn’t think he would go through with the evil deed. Like him I always thought there would be another way ‘leeches or such’ as he asked the Red Witch some weeks ago. I just have to hope the sacrifice was…no, I just can’t bring myself to say it.

But then perhaps there is meaning to the horror that Shireen went through. As much as I loved the moment I heard Drogon’s screech from beyond the stadium walls when all seemed lost and as much as I revelled in the Harpy’s being BBQ’d it did seem like kinda perfect timing. This errant beast, this rebellious teenager, this roaming reptile who no one can locate for weeks on end shows up at JUST THE RIGHT TIME?

It seems like the worst sort of storytelling, but then cast your mind back only minutes before and tell yourself this is the same show that burns alive probably the kindest, sweetest, cleverest character we’ve yet met.

That’s the price you pay for the good stuff, people.

Fashion Watch

This week not so much clothes but a city, the city of Dorne. Shot for the most part in Seville, the royal palace looks spectacular. It surely begs a trip.

However I will say that the Sons of the Harpy are seriously impairing their peripheral vision with those stoopid masks. How are you supposed to seen anyone come at you from the side wearing that get up?

Stray Observations

OK, no Queen of Thorns this week so the verbal barbs were thin on the ground but I did love Daario’s ‘Shut yer mouth’ to Dany’s intended and Ellaria’s superb reaction to the call for a toast to King Tommen: the most drawn out discharge of a glass of wine ever. That made me laugh out loud.

Ellaria also had a good scene with Jaime. She was so forthright in her talk of his relationship to Myrcella, and charmingly does not condemn it. Is this common knowledge now? I know there was some sort of groundswell of contempt when Tommen tried to bumrush the High Sept a few eps back and Tyrion is out about it but I had no idea it had made the papers. If that is the case Cersei surely cannot continue.